Saturday, March 31, 2012

Happy spring!

Today has been quite fantastic! It's been sunny and warm and, this afternoon, my roommates and I did sidewalk chalk out in our parking lot. It was so fun just enjoying the spring-time warmth of the sun and playing outside!

Also, the real reason today was so fantastic: today was General Conference! Being able to sit and listen to the words of the living prophets is more and more amazing every time. The two sessions this morning were incredible and the spirit was so strong. If you missed it this morning, don't fret! You can watch recordings of this morning's sessions here and don't forget to tune-in for the morning and afternoon sessions tomorrow here. You won't regret watching!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

I'm barely breathing...

"The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life.

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm hondin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you"
--Lifehouse, Broken

Broken by Lifehouse on Grooveshark

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Cry like a girl

"Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhhh'd. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don't let someone steal your tenderness. Don't allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it's a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all-- look around you. All of this is for you. Take it and have gratitude. Give it and feel love."
--Zooey Deschanel

Okay, so I love this quote for a couple of reasons. First, simply because I just love Zooey Deschanel. She's pretty much adorable. Second, because this quote just strikes home with me. For the last few years, though I have recently been doing a splendid job of getting over it, I have sort of just struggled with being a girl. Now, please don't take this the wrong way. My issue deals less with being a "girl" and more with being "girly". It used to just bothered me for some reason. I honestly had to be told by my cross-country coach in high school that "it is okay to be a girl!" multiple times. I'm honestly not very sure why I've ever been bothered by it so much. The only thing that I can figure out is that, in my head, being "girly" has always been directly associated with being "weak". In my head, being girly meant I had to be afraid of bugs. It meant that I wasn't allowed to love fishing and camping or getting a bit of mud on my face. It meant that I had to tear up when I saw commercials about homeless kittens on TV. And, quite frankly, I didn't want to be any of those things. I love camping. I love fly-fishing. And, I am probably a little too fond of making mud hand-prints on my calves. So far, as I moved down my mental checklist of "girly attributes I should avoid", it seemed that I was doing a pretty good job. Then it came to the crying thing... Not good. I don't just cry at everything. But almost everything... I would never in a million years cry at a homeless kitten commercial but I do cry during "Beauty and the Beast" when the Beast almost dies and then turns into the prince. I cry during "The Lion King". I sob through the entire second half of "Charly". Let's be honest, I cried during a preview of "Titanic". I haven't even seen the full movie. With all of this as evidence, I was convinced that there was something wrong with me. Nobody in their right minds could claim immunity from the term "girly" and cry during a preview for a movie. This honestly concerned me for the longest time. But, over the last year or so, I've learned that it's okay to be girly and it's okay to cry. Why should I hide what I'm feeling? Why should I pretend to be tough and hardened? I shouldn't. That's lame. "Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to be truly affected by things."
Thanks Eve Smith for sharing that quote.

Friday, March 16, 2012


So, today is my lovely roommate Courtney's birthday and Cheri (my other roommate) and I decided to make cupcakes for the occasion. Behold!

Courtney really likes Giraffes.

Rachel actually made these cupcakes a few weeks ago and I just helped her frost them and take pictures. I just never got around to posting them. 

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

You're not alone.

The last couple months of my life have been pretty crazy. I sometimes look back at the things that have happened and wonder how in the world they all really could have occurred. These times have been filled with much stress, fear, and hurt. Too many tears have been shed and too many nights have been spent alone. Even though these things are true, and even though I have been through so much, I still am standing here today with a smile on my face. Through everything that has happened and through everything that I have gone through, seemingly alone, I have had one constant companion; my Savior Jesus Christ. I have felt alone and abandoned at times. But, if I had really payed attention, I would have realized that He has been here, by my side, all along. I am so grateful for my Savior and for His love. I am so grateful for the Atonement and for the knowledge that Christ knows everything that I am going through and is here to help me along. I know that He loves me and wants me to succeed. He is here to wipe my tears when I cry, help me up when I fall, and carry me when I can no longer walk and I am so grateful.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Let me go home

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to take a short trip home to Provo and it was magnificent! Because my family was in Arizona most of the weekend, I had the house to myself for while, which was lovely, I got to hang out with the best friends in the world, and then I got to see my family before I went home Sunday night. It was so good to see everyone! I miss them all so much. But, there's only a month before I'll be back in Provo for the summer. So crazy! Here a couple pictures from the few minutes that I got to see my adorable little sisters.

Friday, March 2, 2012

"You've got great plans for me"

This song came on to one of my Pandora stations recently and I have come to absolutely love it. The lyrics help me feel a little bit better about just being me, imperfections and all.

"At twenty years of age I'm still looking for a dream
A war's already waged for my destiny
But You've already won the battle
And You've got great plans for me
Though I can't always see

'Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see 
I'm free to be me.

Sometimes I believe that I can do anything 
Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me
That I've got all You seek
And it's easy to believe."
--Francesca Battistelli

Free To Be Me (Album Version) by Francesca Battistelli on Grooveshark

P.S. "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13

Thursday, March 1, 2012

To do...

These are the faces I was making while looking at my "To Do Before You Leave Tomorrow List". Yuck. Thank goodness for Jamba Juice, Pandora, and Andy Grammer! I can do it!